BRITISH AIRWAYS

I am in Seattle for last one week. I was feeling so much of jet lag that didnt feel like doing anything.
When I was coming here I had one hour and twenty minutes time at London to connecting flight and I was flying BA and there they were making so long queues that it was impossible to reach. I asked many attendants that they may allow me to come forward in the queue, as I have a connecting flight, but they were totally indifferent to my plight..so much so that I almost missed my flight, when I reached at the boarding gate..running..huffing puffing, they said its closed, then I requested, shouted ..did everything and got in..but it was a bad experience..it was simply bad management of crowds and BA has economised too much on in flight food also..so I wouldnt recommend them at all...If the same thing had happened in India, everyone would have blasted them and termed incompetent and what not.

More I live outside, more I value my country, my people.

Here one day my daughter made some roasted potatoes and some more dish and we went to give it in a shelter for women affected by domestic violence..its in downtown Seattle..and they try to keep the address a secret for fear of husbands whose wives take shelter there..it was pathetic to see such conditions in a developed country.

 we went to see Peekay in a mainstream cinema hall and got the tickets first day and hall was empty..almost..except for 20.30 people.I was surprised.But the movie is excellent,dialogues, direction and Amir Khan..they have made it so well.

We had a buffet lunch in Taj Palace..and food was excellent in just 10 dollars per person..we dont get the same quality even in India for this amount.

more later:)

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

TAG

somebody gave  this tag long back, I am putting it now:)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink.....never been to a Bar, once we went to a restaurant in nagpur and there many have Bars..but the receptionist ..as soon as he saw me..said..mam it is not for family:), may be i look like that:)


02. Swam with dolphins ...dont know swimming:(

03. Climbed a mountain ....not as a climber, but going to vaishno devi is also a climbing of a type i think:)

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive------never

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid ...:(

06. Held a tarantula -....ugh

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone -

08. Said “I love you” and meant it whatever i say..I always mean it, whether sorry or love

09. Hugged a tree - absolutely!

10. Bungee jumped - No, I am a Darpok:)

11. Visited Paris - yeah:)

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea---No

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise Seen the sunrise at many places..like tiger hill darjeeling,kanyakumari etc

14. Seen the Northern Lights - what is that?

15. Gone to a huge sports game - not a sports person at all:(

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - yessss:), even when we went to the Eiffel tower..we went to the top which is not open to visitors now ..a days:)

!17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables...Yes, I had a beautiful kitchen garden in Kharagpur, i grew Okra, tomato, brinjal etc.

18. Touched an iceberg No:(

:P19. Slept under the stars - In our childhood in summer, we used to sleep on the terrace under the stars:)

20. Changed a baby’s diaper -- all the time:)

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon ....No

22. Watched a meteor shower..No

23. Gotten drunk on champagne - No

24. Given more than you can afford to charity - I never feel that one can ever give more...we give only what we have

. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope ---yes

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment ..many times,when I was in college ,in class,and many other times also:)

27. Had a food fight - never, my whole family is famous for giving, if any of my loved ones like anything..I would give my share evn and never even say that, would say..I dont like it, thats the way we are ...all my siblings and me.

28. Bet on a winning horse...never been to a race course:(

29. Asked out a stranger - Not that way, though love talking to strangers:)

30. Had a snowball fight when i first saw the snow, i was a grown up:(

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - cant scream at all, cant even shout:)

32. Held a lamb ----scared of touching any animal:(

33. Seen a total eclipse...thinks so.

34. Ridden a roller coaster - yes

35. Hit a home run...

36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking... No, always too worried about onlookers:)

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day ..never needed to

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - I am always happy

39. Had two hard drives for your computer---never

40. Visited all 50 states .....no

!41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - yes:), but didnt doo anything, just asked him to go to sleep pronto:)

42. Had amazing friends - still have.

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country - No

44. Watched whales ----yes in Shamu show in Seaworld:)

45. Stolen a sign..... could never steel anything:

P46. Backpacked in Europe - seen the Europe, but not backpacking.

47. Taken a road-trip - Of course Many!!

48. Gone rock climbing...No

49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach - No

50. Gone sky diving ..no

51. Visited Ireland---No

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - Yeh love kya hota ha:)

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them - .No

54. Visited Japan...No

55. Milked a cow..No

56. Alphabetized your CDs - I always like evrything organised properly.

57. Pretended to be a superhero - No, but for all children their mom is super:)

58. Sung karaoke - No,would like to

59. Lounged around in bed all day - sometimes:)

60. Played touch football..no

61. Gone scuba diving - NO

62. Kissed in the rain -

63. Played in the mud - in my childhood and now with my grandson:)

 64. Played in the rain - loved it!

65. Gone to a drive-in theatre -no, seeing the movie like that doesnt apeal me..

 66. Visited the Great Wall of China..no

67. Started a business..yes and was very succesful too

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken- what is that:)

69. Toured ancient sites - Yes in Rome..

70. Taken a martial arts class..no

71. Played D&amp

72. Gotten married -haha..yes yes..

73. Been in a movie - no

 74. Crashed a party -too prim and propah for that

75. Gotten divorced..divorce is not in my dictionery

76. Gone without food for 5 days - Not exactly..though we keep fast during Navratri for 8 days..

77. Made cookies from scratch - yes many times

78. Won first prize in a costume contest - not costume, but I won a prize for best dressed woman once..

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice...yes

80. Gotten a tattoo - No..scared but like them..

81. Rafted the Snake River..no

82. Been on a television news program as an “expert” - NO

 83. Gotten flowers for no reason - sometimes..MY dear hubby used to bring it..

84. Performed on stage - yes in school days then,in social clubs

85. Been to Las Vegas..yes and enjoyed it very much.

86. Recorded music - No

87. Eaten Shark..ugh!

88. Kissed on the first date - what is date:)

89. Gone to Thailand..No

90. Bought a house..yes

91. Been in a combat zone..No

92. Buried one/both of your parents..Yes

93. Been on a cruise ship - been on a ship..

!94. Spoken more than one language fluently - English,Hindi

95. Performed in Rocky Horror ...What is that?

96. Raised children..yes two beautiful ones:)

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour..Never

98. Passed out cold...no

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country - idont know cycling.

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - shifted countries to start afresh...I have changed many cities..

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge..No

102. Sang loudly in the car - Never

 103. Had plastic surgery..would never do

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived -no

105. Wrote articles for a large publication - No..just got prizes for some letters.

106. Lost over 100 pounds - cant loose a single pound:(

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback..no

108. Piloted an airplane..no

109. Touched a stingray -..no

110. Broken someone’s heart -unknowingly i dont know, but knowing i would nevr do..

111. Helped an animal give birth..no

112. Won money on a TV game show..no

113. Broken a bone - ..Never

114. Gone on an African photo safari..Nobut on my bucket list.

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears - nose! but not anymore..

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol..no

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild..I dont like mushrooms.

118. Ridden a horse - yes in Nainital:)

119. Had major surgery - yes

120. Had a snake as a pet....I am very scared of them.

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon....NO..just saw it from the top..

122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period - never

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States - yes..

124. Visited all 7 continents..no

125. Taken a canoe trip..cant ,scared of water.

126. Eaten kangaroo meat..I am a pure vegetarian.

127. Eaten sushi - hate it

128. Had your picture in the newspaper -.no

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about -always try to..about environment

130. Gone back to school..no

131. Parasailed..no

132. Touched a cockroach - yes in bio labs I dissected them.

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes -no

134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey..no

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school and read -Enid Blyton

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating..no

137. Skipped all your school reunions - ...I could nevr go back to any of my earlier school once I left..

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language..yes in France.

139. Been elected to public office - no

140. Written your own computer language- no

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream -

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care - no

 143. Built your own PC from parts..no

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you -

145. Had a booth at a street fair - yes many times

146. Dyed your hair - have to :(

Caused a car accident - once..

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Just now read the a post by fellow blogger and it made me think on the same point in my way.Most of the time it is said that shun the negative people, dont be near them or dont be near people who make you feel abused, or unhappy or hurt you.. whatever.. but is it always possible.Suppose you have such people in your immediate family..then what to do.so my coping strategies are.....of course with difficult people:)....

First we must introspect.where we can change ourselves. Most of the time we like people who are like us. For example, I am a very meticulous,cleanliness freak and very economical in everything. Now I want  everyone to be like that and those who are not they irritate me or frustrate me.And I want to change them to my thinking..but is it possible to change anyone? so what can be done is..I will have to change myself if I want to be stress free in life.The very first thing I must understand is that I cant run everyone's life. I am free to do what I want in my life, but I shouldnt impose my thinking on others. They may be extravagant, they may waste the resources..but its their life, they are charting their future, why am I trying to be god?.

Now there are some people who cant discuss anything peacefully, they get aggressive and they are the ones who know everything and they are always right:)..let them be, why try to correct them..what will we get?..I have stopped going in details...

I have seen some people living in stress and giving lot of stress to other, only because of one thing..they want everybody either to be perfect or like them..they cant accept that even they are not perfect..and god has never made two people similar, but everyone is unique in her/his own way.Desire to control others always brings disaster..
Be happy and make others happy..thats the way to live..

SAHIB BIBI AUR GANGSTER

I saw this one now, though this is not a new one and its sequel has also come, but I was interested , so.
This is a story of betrayal,intrigue manipulation..everything like this.Sahib(Jimmy Shergill) is a raja of some small town in UP.His father had a mistress and later married her and left everything in her name. So he is king with no money. Bibi (Mahi Gill) is neglected by sahib, as she did the crime of falling in love with someone else, so the sahib also has a mistress. Bibi is getting hysterical and when she gets a new young handsome driver.gangster, she uses him cunningly to kill the mistress.  Now that handsome driver Babbloo(Randeep Hooda) had come with his own motive to spy on Sahib ..

First half is very interesting..Randeep hooda is the best, its really sad that such a talented actor hasnt got his due in bollywood and then Deepal Shaw as the daughter of sahib's right hand man is very refreshing and enjoyable in her role..Rest of the cast is also good as..Jimmy shergill looks handsome too and Mahi Gill, Deepraj Rana..they all impress...movie is worth a watch,only thing I wish there were less killings in the end..

Some cafes

Best thing I love about Europe is its little quaint cafes...and sitting arrangements made out side..people sitting..enjoying coffee , croissant, tarts leisurely and watching the people go by..

One day we went to this little cafe nearby in Kilchberg, where they serve breakfast and after that they close and open again in evening...it was so calm and quiet, beautiful..from our seat we could enjoy the view of Zurich lake and city.Tarts ..I really like, though here they put lot of cream, infact too much for my taste, I prefer more of fruit..

Then One day we were roaming around old town..here also they have little markets in open space..stalls type, called Christmas market..I dont find much interest in their merchandise because after conversion, for me everything is way too much, I can get everything in India at lesser price, so why not buy in your own country.

Then we sat in a cafe on the roadside looking over the lake..it was so windy and chilly, that this cafe had provided one blanket on every chair..

Last Saturday it was very cold 2 deg outside..we went all covered up to the Belleveue and there Opernhouse is the central place..there in that biting cold, some people dressed like gypsies were offering  the set for water bubbles..biggest one I have have seen..after that you could put money whatever you want in the bowl kept there..

in front of Opernhouse

cafe

Christmas time

Now Christmas fever has started .so everywhere Christmas decorations and everything in the shape of Santa and other related items is available. It looks so festive.
But some times I feel  that this is where consumerism starts...Even my child wants everything..today and now..there is no end to gifts...we keep buying things, even if we have no place to keep them and most of the things are forgotten after 15 days.Aren't we wasting the resources?
Why we have connected everything with gifts and things?
Cant we enjoy with what we have?
Today there is no line between need and want..whatever I want I need that.Nobody wants to see the repercussions of this self centred nature.We are teaching the same thing to our children also..they want gift at the drop of the hat..
I feel totally disenchanted with this  trend...of shopping indiscriminately..

Me Time

I dont understand this me time concept at all...and I hear about it all the time.Earlier women were busy looking after husband , children, inlaws extended families, guests..list was long, facilities were less and so was the affordability and they hardly got anytime on their own, then it would have made some sense,  but the irony is that they never thought of it and never demanded. Whereas today when most of the women have nuclear family and there also they are not totally responsible for everything..everybody is pitching in, rest is being done by maids or restaurants:).

In our time for everything we made efforts, today..if you got up late..no problem..have your breakfast at the cafe outside.dont feel like cooking order something...nobody is bothered about calculating how much damage its doing to their finances or health..

When they are already leading a leisure life, why do they need me time?..I am talking about women who are not doing a job...

I always feel strongly that both the spouses bring something to the marriage, if man is solely responsible for providing finances, then woman should shoulder the complete responsibility of the house..but I dont see that around me...most of the young woman want the man to help, in spite of the man working 10 hrs at his work..and still they want some me time..they have got all the me time in the world in the day...

I know that it sounds regressing but my practical experience says that whenever the men in the house are particular about the way house should be kept, and food also, women  become more efficient and skilled, and after  some time their personality is changed, they become independent and good at managing everything, but wherever men are liberal initially, women become  totally complacent and always ill at ease in everything.

I know that I am going to get lot of brickbats from the girls but still I feel that if we love someone, we must try to raise the bar for that person and make him/her a better person , instead of letting them go down.

We must not fall in love, but rise in love:)

Smile please..

I have been to Zurich many times and it is such a coincidence that 35 years back my husband was working in Annecy (France) and when we were there, then also we visited Zurich.And that time we saw museums and tourist places. But in all my other trips I enjoy walking in the old town or banhoffstrasse and just roaming around....I am really surprised that nothing changes here, everything remains the same, except that may be population has increased that also not so much as compared to other places.

Here, wherever construction is going on for roads or anything, everybody cribs that they do all this to create employment, they dont need it, road was already good enough.

One thing I really like here and would like to emulate is that everybody works with a smile, meets with a smile..nobody seems to be grumpy...though one of the biggest reason is they have enough money for everything, but still its a habit also...smile spreads energy.

Here in Silcity there is a restaurant..Vapiano,there they give you a card and with that you order and take everything available and while going you can pay....totally honour system, we also need to bring that honesty in our life.

Every time I came in summer, so I was very curious to see the winter here. But this time when god gave me the chance, I feel summer is better..because for me its always very cold outside and no charm in walking around. And the day is so short here that by 5PM it becomes dark.And I have realised that every place has its charm till you havent seen it..after that everything is same...but your home never looses its charm.You always want to come back

Zurich..2014

Living in Chennai has made me averse to cold. So in Zurich, though its not very cold, I am still finding it uncomfortable and taking time to adjust.
Whenever we have any gathering here, topic invariably comes about India and its good and bad points. Most of the people will say that ...there purchasing power has increased so much,but otherwise it hasnt changed much..same dirty places, no infrastructure, no honesty..no safety etc etc...girls have become so forward, drinking so much...

Though many points are true, but said like that irritate me so much..if everything is so bad why people come here, why cant they live without visiting India and mind it they dont come here for family only..they want shopping too...

India is still cheap for them because of all its underdevelopment only..once we have everything in order, we will not remain so economical. Yes we have many disadvantages, but the same is true anywhere..here in Zurich,one cant afford maid everyday, they charge 25 F per hour, so there is so much we have to do ourselves. Then everything comes packaged, so lot of shopping has to be done and bring it home. Then disposing anything is not so easy. days and places are assigned for everything like cardboard, paper etc and you can do there only.

So life is different everywhere, nothing is good in absolute..for me..I like living in India only with all its plus and minuses

Apology

I have been absent from this space for long, because I was down with viral..no energy now.and on 4th i am leaving to Switzerland..so no time..please  be with me:) will write as soon as possible:)

Is it Racism?

This is one of my old posts but still relevant

The incidents in Delhi, Gurgaon and Banlore make me feel so ashamed..are we living in a progressive society where people are killed for not speaking their language.
One of my friend said that people should blend..fine..thats very good if they blend, its to their advantage only..like if I dont know tamil, I am at a loss and miss so many things but in what way I am harming locals I fail to understand...why this compulsion to learn their language?

Are we becoming dictators and telling the people to behave...and behave in such a way, otherwise you cant live here..what sort of society we are going to make?...why not be tolerant of difference and celebrate..there is so much beauty in diversity, why people want a homogeneous society..it would be so boring..

Do all the people who go outside the country blend so much?..Dont they make a mini India outside..and we revel in that..so why such a big cry for everything in your own country?and then we say we are educated..sorry we are not..we are just literates..education makes us open minded...

I have lived in many states of India, and everywhere..local people had their own group and sometimes some people included me, some did not..I never felt offended or anything, because its natural to feel more comfortable among your own types, but that doesnt mean we should be intolerant of others..why dont you eat south Indian/north Indian food..or live like locals..why should some one change his/her own culture and habits..it should be their own choice...

North has 5 states..but they are all clubbed as north Indians.. and I never felt anything amiss.so what..
But the same thing in south is a issue..

I find many things worth emulating in south and I appreciate them,with that I miss so many things of north also here..Every Place has its own pros and cons..and as an aware person if we can take the good from them, we shall be enriching ourselves....

More degrees we take, more racial we become...may be we are better off uneducated..go to the villages, they are cordial to everybody...

Think about it....

How could celebrities be so insensitive..like Hema malini said that widows shouldnt gather in Vrindavan...Are the widows coming there on their own will? Do they have any choice? Are they enjoying there? They live a pathetic life without proper food, clothes or entertainment.Being a woman, least she could do was to empathise with them and give them better conditions.
Secondly, if one thinks that way..isnt she an outside in Mathura, even in Mumbai?

The same can be said about Raj Thackeray..why he always says that he will stop people coming from outside..what is outside? Did he stop NSG from saving Mumbai people? why was he silent then?

I remember once I was in Warora, and one Kannada person worked under  my husband, and he called us for dinner, and there his wife  in very naive way said that lot of north Indians have settled in Bangalore now and there is no place for us..and all that, and her husband felt so embarrassed..( we are north Indians)...:)..And they wanted their children to settle abroad:)

On one side we talk about MNCs, globalisation and open economy, on the other hand we make boundaries in our own country..Most of us want to go to foreign countries for better prospects and want to settle there, and when some body from our own country wants to settle in our home state we cry foul? what sort of mentality is that?

Its time we do what we say...I wont say that have a big heart..NO there is no big heart needed here, because  every citizen has the same right in the country, they are not giving something of their won.one can stay anywhere...nobody is being generous...instead be human..live and let others live..

Demand civility, ethics ,and morality, not segregation on the basis of caste or language.Yes anyone and everyone must follow the law of the land and cultural ethos of that place where you live..think of your neighbours also.

CHILDREN FOR YOU

Here is a conversation between mother and her son ( ..I wrote this post 5 years back...since the original conversation is in Hindi, I am putting the translation in brackets..

When she eats something

Son;---mom kuch khaane se pehle soch liya karo sugar ha , thoda parhej karo
            ( Think of your sugar before you eat ,eat less)
when she doesnt eat.....

Ma kuch khao, aise kaise chalega, agar sugar low ho gayi to.
( Eat something, I dont like it, sugar level will go down)

When she works......

ab itna kaam na kiya karo ki haalat hi kharaab ho jaaye, thoda rest kar lo.
(Dont over work yourself,you will get fatigued, rest a little)

when she rests....

isiliye to aapki itni fat ha, main jab bhi aata hoon aap rest hi kar rahi hoti ho, thoda active rahiye tabhi theek rahengi.
THis is the reason you are so fat, whenever I see you, you are resting, be active, then only you will be fine

When she gets dressed...

ab itna bhi na saja kariye, aap age ke hisaab se rahiye wahi accha lagta ha,mothers aise nahi acchi lagti ha
Dont over dress, dress according to your age, mothers look better dignified

and if she doesnt then....

thoda theek se baitha kariye, ab boutique me customers dekhte hain aise accha nahi lagta.
Dress well, it doesnt look nice in front of other people.

agar woh discipline demand karti ha to..
ab aap old fashioned baat kar rahi ha,  yeh to hame na bataaiye ki aapke jamaane me kya hota tha,ab times change ho gaye
(You are being old fashioned, dont tell me what used to happen in your time,now times have changed)

TWENTY THINGS TO REMEMBER

I loved the last one.... 

 1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

 2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry. 

 3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every
day. 

 4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of
shape. 

 5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants
us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

 6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

 7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

 8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me. 

 9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

 10. Laugh every day - it's like inner jogging. 

 11. The most important things in your home are the people. 

 12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
(Preach it!) 

 13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
Come on in. 

 14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry. 

 15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. 

 16. We do not remember days but moments. 

Life moves too fast so
enjoy your precious moments. 

 17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise
it's just hearsay. 

 18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again.
Just be sure to flush when you are done. 

 19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires
courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage
and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress
when it sticks out its neck. 

 20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.
Your character is what you really are, while your reputation
is merely what others think you are. No matter the storm,
when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the
angels to read. I don't want to get to the end of my life
and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have
lived the width of it as well.

source..email

I AM PUZZLED

We want good governance
we want clean roads
we want no corruption
we want everything but from others, on our own we dont want to do anything..
If judiciary is sentencing a  person we protest, we destroy national property, we stop work in offices, we close the schools.only because that person was kind to us personally..what is it ultimately..only US..nothing else, we bother about self only....

Why cant we go about everything in a civil way, or we want to say that whenever judiciary gives a verdict in our favour, we shall be democratic, otherwise we cant respect law of the land orthe highest institution even.

I always thought that south is more educated and more intellectual, but with this attitude, I am rethinking...none of the intellectuals have come out and said that we must honour the verdict and if we want we can appeal against it.what do we want..anarchy....or that law should have different course for different people.....everybody is thinking of his own benefit only...

So far I thought that only congress breeds sycophancy but NO people here win hands down...

MRS. ALI'S ROAD TO HAPPINESS...FARHAD ZAMA

MRS. ALI'S ROAD TO HAPPINESS...FARHAD ZAMA

Its a beautiful book . Its about a retired muslim couple residing in Vizag.Both are very progressive minded , secular and intelligent too..specially Mrs. Ali.Their widow niece adopts an orphan Hindu boy and loves him like a mother, but both Hindu and muslim fanatics trouble them, they find it better to put that boy in an orphanage than living with her as family.Then there is widening of roads in cities without taking into consideration the problems of people living there.So many issues are shown.like corruption in electricity department,hindu muslim interactions,and one gets many good insights too..like when Mr. ali is reminiscing about his childhood and all, when young people took interest only in their profession and family and older people were into religion. and he finds it dangerous that today youngsters are getting into religion and becoming fanatics..not a good sign.according to him..
Over all very interesting, and tell us that even if people are truely secular and good, life has many road blocks for them..

GUIDELINES FOR MODERN DAY PARENTS

I keep reading everywhere that why there are all the instructions and protocol for the children, why not any one for elders , parents and in laws, so i thought why not? lets have one which will appeal to them, and as it is giving advice, comes so easily to us Indians.....ask anyone whenever a match is lost..everybody must be telling you how the strategy of the captain was wrong, and how the batsman didnt cut the ball, and how the fielder lost the catch..so easy to play the game sitting in your drawing room:), its like discussing realistic movies and poverty in India over Champagne and caviar:), so here are the guidelines for parents and elders, take it at your own peril, the product is not guaranteed:)

You are born in this world to take care of your children only, so do it well, dont have any other thing in your mind or life.

A child is an individual by birth , so respect them ..even at the cost of your self respect:)( you shouldnt have any).

Before telling..no telling is a bad word..asking your children to do anything, tell them all the reasons and logic, but of course dont expect them to justify their actions.

Give them all the freedom...This is a free world and you may be sued for slavery, But of course if they do anything wrong..its your responsibility and duty to take care of that.

If they want to take all the decisions of their life without your consent..let them take...they are right , its their life, and dont ever say that...hamaare time me aisa hota tha..times have changed , but remember only for them, not for you--if you ever express a desire to become modern., dress fashionably .......then listen to them saying...live according to your age or..are you out of your mind?

They have every right to compare you with their friend's parents who...pamper their children silly, give lot of money and freedom, but you have no right to compare them with other children...u r spoiling their personality by continuous comparison.

Dont ever expect anything from them..obedience or anything else......You havent done anything special..all parents do that for their children,They have already given you a lot..by being your children.

If you are extra caring and protective...you are suffocating them, stifling their life, but if you dont, then you are indifferent..you dont care.

You may suppress all your dreams for their future, but they cant kill a single desire,an outing or their daily routine even for you, as it will be ruining their life .

and all this for the sake of being called a parent..the word means a person totally selfless and devoted to children.

List is endless..will keep adding:)..even you may add...

next part for inlaws:)

Dowry decoded

I have seen many people demanding reservation , sometimes for women or under privileged for bringing them equality. But I feel that asking for privileges and then saying we are equal is a total contradictory. The way we say that respect is commanded , not demanded( though in certain situations it is demanded), same way we cant demand equality, we must command thru our abilities and capabilities.

We always feel the need to have laws and rules for everything and think that may be then change will come but change has to come from within..For example everybody decries dowry but but how many people...

Say no when it comes to marry their sons, ,,why dowry is bad only when you are marrying daughter?

If we start thinking differently and instead of giving all our attention and money for marrying our daughter, we educate her, let her stand on her own feet..economically and then think about marrying a person who is like minded, educated with a good character, not with a fat package or status parents....yes, if you see the parents of girls, they and the girls themselves are also at fault..while marrying they want a boy from an established family with fat salary, why cant they depend on their own capabilities to earn and be satisfied with what they earn...

The change has to be all around..Dowry is not a gender issue or economic one..its social thinking...greed for free money,materialism and respect given to rich people...so we have to change all that, bring goodness to life..its not all about money and social status...big villas and cars...The day we learn to pride in taking only what we earn thru hard work..no freebies from anyone..we will rise.

Palace of Illusions....Chitra bannerjee Divakaruni

Palace of Illusions....Chitra bannerjee Divakaruni

I had given the requisition of this book two years back to my library and now got it....very interesting book. It is the story of Mahabharata from the side of Draupadi. The story starts from her birth and ends when she dies. I has many lessons for today even...She goes to an Ascetic and told three thing which she should be careful about..like dont always speak your mind, dont get too angry and dont laugh at somebody as they may bring catastrophes in your life and family. And the same thing happens..In her Swayamvar, to save her brother, she insults Karna,and in return she loses him (in her heart she always loved Karna) , and makes him an arch enemy of her husband.Then she laughs at Duryodhan and sows the seed of destruction, and last in her Vastraharan, she takes a vow of not plaiting  her hair till Dushasan is dead..In the same way all incidents are there due to some reason, and its always karma  and everything is explained very well..worth a read..

Sunset Club..Khushwant Singh
Its the reminiscent memories of three old retired friends, one Mr. Sharma, another nawab saheb and third is a sardarji who i feel is khushwant singh.As usual its a bawdy description of their life and exploits.

Read many more books .like James Patterson's and some  Indian writers, but nothing worth mentioning..please suggest me some good books...

Do parents differentiate....

I read on a fellow blogger's about her two daughters asking--mama whom do u love more?and it stirred in me a host of memories from my childhood to my kid's, like when we were young we four sisters and one brother and whenever my dad came home and called any of us, the one who was not called will sulk..................you never remember me, dont call my name, you are all the time calling her only and all that..........while in a big family its never possible to call all five in a go:)
My poor mother was always accused of partiality among us, some were called her favourite and she had to bear the brunt of that।Of course as e quite common in Indian families sons are given more importance and on top of that my brother came after 4 sisters, so he was always the VIP,but since my brother was very cute and gentle even in childhood and today also is a very caring person and we all sisters also love him too much so he was not there in sibling revelry.My sisters feel that somewhere they were differentiated, but I never felt like that and still feel that all parents do their best according to the circumstances and times they are living in.

When i had children, I loved them and still love them more than my life,but my daughter will say---u always love bhaiya more, he is treated as a VIP and all that blah blah;;;;;;:)
my son will say----guria is mom's moppet,she will always favour her, mom cant see anything wrong with her,(गुरिया तो मम्मी की चमची हा)...........:)
Poor mom...............she is left wondering;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;On top of that I am given a dressing down from my H also that I have spoiled the children too much.Even today both my children want me to go their place and it becomes a difficult decision where to go...it may look like favouring one over another...which I never do..

Now I have full sympathy for my mom and have realised that----
If a child is very naughty, he will get more scolding but that doesnt mean less love:)
If a child is more laborious and good at work, will get more appreciation,and appreciation is not love.
Parents always love all the children equally, its only that they give more of scolding, appreciation,their time, money and efforts where they find them needed, thats it.

MY response

Today I got this forwarded by a friend....

(Son to his father)

Dear Pop,

I am very sorry to hear about mom’s ill health. During my last visit I had asked her to get her check ups done regularly and she had nodded in affirmative and this news is real shock to me. I could sense the distress you are going through my dear Pop and I really wish I was there with you. My presence would not make any changes in the situation but would give you some support. 

I spoke to my seniors and they have refused to give me any further leave as we have a client presentation and I am representing the company and am shouldering responsibilities which are not so easy to shudder. I am feeling upset about not being present with you but your effort of nurturing my future would also go in vain if I throw this opportunity in the air. So please try to understand me and forgive me for being selfish if its so. I am have already wire transferred 10,000 USD and hope it would be of great help to you. You have always been a strong man and am sure you will not succumb to the pressures. You have thought us to be optimistic and the same goes true today. Mom should be fine. Take her for the best of advice from senior doctors and get her the adequate treatment, please remember that money is and will never be an issue. I have got few telephone numbers from my friends of nurses on hire for terminally ill patients. You can reach them and hire one so that they can be of some help to you. Also look out for some help for cooking, do not torture your tired bones.

I spoke to Mansi and she too is busy with the exams of her children. Her sis-in-law is coming down from Switzerland and she has to be a good host for some time. After the exams she has enrolled her kids for vacation studies and she has also put forth her regret of not joining you but has conveyed her earnest prayers for Mom. In fact, she was choking on the other end when she spoke to me last night. She may call you up today and please do not worry her much as she has been very sensitive right from childhood. My mobile is always ON so that you can reach me at any time.

I will try to make it after I return from Germany, but that would definitely take a month or two. Please Pop, forgive me for being away from you. My prayers for the well being of my mom and for strength for my Pop will be there for sure.

Take care!

(Father in reply)

Dear Son,

I received your good wishes and prayers and was happy to know about your new assignment. I said a small prayer to the lord to give you success in all that you endeavor. I tried calling you up many times but your phone was switched off, I suppose, or may be you were traveling and were;out of range;. I also tried Mansi and she too was not reachable. I decided to cremate your mother quietly and would love to tell you she passed away peacefully. She always had a habit of writing letters to her children. During her last days, she was unable to write to her kids so she dictated it to me feebly and I have jotted down her words. If you have time please read hereon:

(mother's message to son)

Dear Son,

I understand that you were always ambitious in life and when I came to know about your new venture, my feeble hands trembled but surely raised for a prayer for the well being of my two beautiful kids. Mansi’s kids exams will go well and they will pass with flying colours. You too would grab the promotion and make your parents proud my son. I have no regrets of you not coming down, in fact proud of having such wonderful children to whom duty stands first. May be this time, it would be a bit late as I may not be able to meet you again. God gave me the opportunity to carry you both in my womb, go through the wonderful feeling of motherhood and raise you both as such responsible kids. I hope you have carried your leather jacket with you  my dear on your trip to Germany. The money that you have been sending for us is intact in the account as we were never waiting for it. The calls that were made to you were always to hear your voice and not ask for help. I have knitted a lovely sweater for you, do not forget to ask your Pop for it. I have made your favorite pickle; in case, you happen to fly down, do not forget to carry it. Mansi wanted an Ayurvedic medicine for indigestion. I had asked my friend to call in for it. She had got it for me a couple of weeks ago. Later, I was admitted in the hospital, but your dad is aware, please do not forget to collect it from him. Also the CD of your last visit to us is ready and we have been watching it whenever we miss you and Mansi. I had asked your dad to write the CD so that both of you too can add it to your memory shelf. I thank God for this life and am happy to move to the next stage. Your Pop will be lonely and that’s what is worrying me now. I had called for an admission form from the nearest Old Age Home; so that he can admit himself there and have friends to spend rest of his life. Thank you kids for being so wonderful.

Yours Ever Loving,

 Mom

My response....

I dont agree with many things..mother's letter is not very kind but very cliche..very sarcastic too...

Secondly not many children write a letter like this one..sometimes they have some genuine problems too and initially its parents who teach children to earn more and more, then only they are satisfied, its parents who want children to go US because they find it a feather in their cap...how many parents are there who are happy if their children are not ambitious and earn less..they feel inferiority complex..its parents only who inculcate in the children that its only money that matters ..if they earn more they will be respected and when children learn this lesson, they want them to unlearn it..children are not their property they are individuals....

Now a days campus recruitment's are going on..how many parents ask children whether they are happy with what they have found..not many most are interested in knowing and comparing the packages.and boasting about it.

If a child is not able to give luxury to his parents, then also they are not happy and if he works hard to give that, then they want him to be irresposible in his job, only loyal to them..what is this? what do you want? Are you bringing up children or your retirement plan?

I feel that as parents we must provide children good education( I dont mean fancy ones only),good values and shouldnt pamper them beyond our means..provide them nutritious food and clothes(not the designer ones), but once they grow up, let them be free....if you have given them good values they will be an asset to everyone not only to you.

vice and virtue

Today i find lots of changes in the fabric of society, it has become a polyester from Khaadi, No stain is bad, it can be washed, however dirty you make it, still it can look clean, not like Khadi--which is to be maintained sprightly clean, cant take a single spot.

Earlier even a hint of some bribe, scandal used to make big noise in the society and a big embarrassment to the person. Its not that there were no tainted persons , or no corruption or no opportunists., because greed is a human quality, so existed in all the ages, everybody knows that Mahabharata took place only because of Duryodhana's greed. But there was a stigma attached to every vice, so whoever indulged, did so on the side,and when confronted would not accept it easily.
See how the times have changed.Today nobody has any scruples, instead of feeling ashamed they will start telling you the names of hundred other people who are corrupt and all that। क्या सब के चोरी करने से चोरी चोरी नही रहती ?

here i want to say that -------I am afraid that............if the majority is corrupt, then there is a chance that tomorrow corruption may be converted into a virtue------------.I feel scared of living in that society.......................where journalists start supporting the politician only because they have been very candid in the dealings or feelings.( It happens on TV so many times that if somebody accepts the dealings he is glorified)

kya karen ham aise hi hain:)

I have come back after a lo0ng vacation. I was in my home town in UP.and one thing I realise every time I go there is that how much your mother tongue is important to you..there its so relaxing to speak Hindi and listen Hindi:).

And the next thing is food..one never gets the same flavour anywhere else and then summer fruits, I havent eaten..peaches, apricots,berries, leechis  dussehri mangoes and many more for many years, here one rarely sees them.

But inspite of all this I am always happy to be back..love my place, my routine everything.I really wonder when people want to live with children, leaving their own circle of friends, routines and life styles....May be that those living on their own have to work more, may have less luxury..so what..I would any day prefer that...I love my independence too much to sacrifice that..

Are you on Whats App?

First it was Orkut, then FB and now whats APP..anybody and everybody is into it and people forward the messages without reading properly or understanding the message and sometime create mayhem:):). Recently one of my sis forwarded a message...a very simple one where it was extolled that women should look after themselves TOO..only then they can look after the family...People took it as women should give self first preference everything else comes later...

Now the circle or label of people who are in Whats app and all is such that its very difficult to find women who are sacrificing themselves or being dominated by men..so such messages are totally useless here. Even in earlier generations I have seen many old women who kept a facade of all giving type but they were not actually so....I have seen that before serving everyone they took out the portion for themselves, because in a big family nothing may be left when they eat..not bad..actually they were prudent. Then I saw many who would eat the goodies when children were out, it was the men pampering their women.....Then I saw many women keeping fruits and dry fruits more for themselves, sometimes it was due to health reasons..but even if I am sick I wouldnt partake anything without giving it to my children and family..whatever I can afford, I would like to share...

Then I see the old mothers wanting to be put first in priority in everything....for me if there ever arises a situation where my son and I both need something, be it food or medicine or anything else, I will ask it to be given to my son first, because he is young and needs the best care as he has many responsibilities to take care of, as for me I have lived my life well, my children are settled, so a little delay wouldnt matter, and at present stage I wouldnt like me to be first priority, it should be the next generation.......but I see that in most of the families old parents be they 75 or 95 delight themselves in being the first priority..so how are they sacrificing themselves?

A good society needs people who are compassionate and take care of others, think about others,and wherever self comes first or self gratification is the most important thing, it deteriorates,we bring up the generation without ethics and integrity. yes we shouldnt let ourselves be exploited, but we should never let self interest take over everything..

And please forward those messages only which you believe in otherwise you are spreading something even you dont believe in...

Queen

In the last one month I saw many movies and would like to share the highlights only ..the best one I saw was Queen, this is the story of a simple middle class girl who is chased by one of his father's friend's son and they fall in love and their marriage is set, just before that the boys goes to London and feels that this girls is not up to his standard and ditches her on wedding day,without thinking about the prestige of her parents, financial losses and her heart break.Even his parents support him by keeping quiet.This girl had a dream of going to Paris and Amsterdam for honeymoon and since the trip was booked ,she goes alone..the way she comes out of her shell and breaks many stereotypes, forms the story and its beautiful to watch,and her ex fiancee later on wants to marry her, says sorry and all but now she has tasted freedom, freedom from a system where a girl is at the mercy of guy, he decided whether she should work or not, whether she should drink o not......now she is independent and happy....
The best thing I liked about the characters is.... the girl doesnt get spoiled or embraces any vices, she is simple but good and intelligent and remains the same,initially she tries everything to bring her fiancee around, when he is adamant,she leaves..
Kangan Ranaut has brought life to the character..this movie is a must watch..

Holiday...This movie is worth a watch to see what committed intelligence officers can do against terrorism..there is this one dialogue....kya jaan dene ka theka sirf aarmy waalo ne le rakha ha civilians nahi de sakte.....This is the mind set we have to change, for the better good of the country, one or two lives of individuals should never be bothered with....Akshay and Sonakshi both look good...

Personality

I keep thinking that what is the main  thing that affects the most in building personality traits,
what is that core thing required ,is it upbringing? but then a parent has 4 children but they are never alike, one may be emotional, other one practical, one very straightforward in life, other one may be selfish;
 so then is it environment?......but then many poor kids who are living among criminals ,even then they are honest..........
then what iis it?   Sometimes I wonder, what is that thing which
makes a person what he/she is;
 I think basic nature is the result of permutations and combinations of genes which may be different even in siblings and the habits are acquired through upbringing, environment and surroundings. and basic nature is very difficult to change, it is  inherent and based in the psyche.

Think about it and tell me.

Love And togetherness

But let there be spaces in your togetherness
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love ;
let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup,
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
But let each one of you alone.
Even as the strings of a flute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping ;
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together,
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the Cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Its written by Kahlil Gibran, I read it some where and liked it. Its like Chhayavad of Hindi written by the writers like Jayshankar Prasad etc, where human love and love of god are merged together in description.

BLOGGING

When i started blogging, I had just one thing in mind that I wanted to voice my opinion. I didnt know how to reply to comments or waht to comment on others blogs. Then I started looking at other blogs and in that quest found some precious friends too, but from the beginning I could never comment if I didnt want to say anything and couldnt read the blog if it wasnt interesting to me. I couldnt bother about number of readers or blogs..NO actually  I bothered a lot:), i also wanted those 100 comments, but I couldnt change myself for them.

Even today I find it very amusing that so many bloggers come to my place and comment only if I have gone there  commented on theirs, and suppose for some time they are writing on a subject which is not appealing to me, and I am not commenting there, they stop coming here.
From my side  I can assure you that if i find the content interesting, I go to that blog and if I have something to say I do that, I rarely bother whether that person comes to mine or not..and there are some bloggers whom I like as a person, so I go there..

Yes I stopped going to certain ones because of ideology conflict also..like this one blog who supported LTTE  in Srilanka..I feel that people who migrate to any country do so on their own accord  and they should live and follow that country's law's and traditions and become that country's internal problem.

Then if any one derides Hindi, I cant see it..one may not like it..may not use it, but hating it..is too much to me to accept..specially when people are loving English..a foreign language...

I dont find any interest in reading those posts which are written with hidden advertising...I prefer to read directly about the product..

So what is your take on blogging?

FIVE TIPS FOR SAFE DRIVING IN MONSOON

Car Care

Remember to check battery, electrical wiring, headlights , tyres, engine, wipers and the underbody anti- rust coating on a regualar basis.Tyre pressure, tread depth and spare wheel should also be checked. Replace cloth floor mats with plastic/ rubber mats as it avoids dampness and bad odour.


Driving Care

Avoid driving when it is pouring heavily . But if urgent, drive using first gear only and avoid using full accelerator.Lower your window panes while driving through water logged areas. If the car stalls in between, do not try to push start or crank start. It is advisable to get technical help and towing the vehicle to the the nearest authorised garage. Avoid parking the vehicle near a newly built compound wall or under big trees, as storms or heavy thundershowers may collapse them.


Personal Care

A well equipped first aid kit with bandage, pain relief spray, antiseptic cream, anti-allergics such as Avil and Aspirin should be kept handy, also carry umbrella / raincoats. People with serious illness should carry their prescribed medicines while travelling.


Emergency Care

In case you are stuck, park your car and look for the nearest garage. Be prepared to carry a list of the name of garages. It is also advisable that you create the ICE (In Case Emergency) number in your cell phone so that incase of an eventuality near ones can be informed. Also store emergency numbers of hospitals , police stations, fire stations.

source..email

men and women

This I got in my email,
It is a good comparison of personality and attitude, some are true, some are said with tongue in the cheek:), but worth reading.......
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
If Rekha, Meena and akshata  go out for lunch, they will call each other Rekha, Meena and akshata; If Amit,Brij and Shyam go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUTt;
When the bill arrives, Amit,Brij and Shyam will each throw in 500/; even though it's only for 1200/. None of them will have anything smaller  and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay 500/  for a 300/ item he needs.;  A woman will pay 300/ for a 500/ item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows .. About dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,& secret fears and hopes and dreams.; A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

I have been nominated by Usha Menon for Liebster Award . After a long time I am posting an award:) and I thank Ushaji for considering me worthy of this award. 

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award and you choose to accept it, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2. Display the award on your blog .

3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.

5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.

7. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:

8. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!

The questions 

 are

 1. What is favourite color ?

Now a days its white..

  2. How do you see yourself after twenty years?

I dont want to live that much, but if god desires so, I want to live independently and want to devote my time for unprivileged people.

 3. What sort of books you like to read ?

I am addicted to reading , so read everything, but enjoy spiritual and motivations books a lot.

 4. What do you prefer: love marriage or an arranged marriage?
     Mine was arranged but in those times anyone who saw my husband fell in love(he was so tall and
     handsome:)

5. Who is your favourite  character in TV?
    Molly in  Mike and Molly, earlier it was Madhwan in Ghar jamai. or Ratna pathak in Sarabhai...
   
6. What is your hobby?
     Reading and writing...

7. Do you like to participate on stage?
    NO:)

8.How  did you start blogging?
   My daughter said that you have such strong opinions about so many things why not document
   them..

9. How much do like Facebook and Twitter?
     Not much..

10. Which Newspaper do you like to read?
      Earlier I liked Telegraph, then a little bit Deccan chronicle in Hyderabad, now nothing, as they are
      Tabloids, not newspaper any more..